People Watching

I was all ready to bitch about the long list of subway rules and how they are ignored by riders. I was ready to complain about the sweltering sauna I would have stood in had the train not arrived just as I reached my space, before the 1 train unloaded its riders. But, that will wait for another day, when I have no interesting characters to share. Some days they just don't appear. Today I hit the jackpot.

A particularly well dressed man sat next to me on the downtown 2 train. Sniffing the air I kept smelling something that smelled like a barn. It was an odd smell, kind of like hay. Looking downwards, I noted his alligator shoes, grey lightweight wool dress pants. As the train left the station he jumped up from his seat a grabbed a fancy ballpoint pen that had fallen from someone's belongings. Holding the pen out to our fellow passengers with a questioning look he sat back down when no one claimed it and pushed the pen into his worn calfskin briefcase. I smelled the smell again and suddenly realized it was his hat that had gotten a bit wet. Atop his head was a Panama straw hat, or a pretty good fascimile of one.

"It's nice to get a good pen to write with. I collect them too," I spoke in a conspiratal voice.

"Yayah, Ah go to conferences and grab as mana as I can. Most of em just fall apart 'fore you can use them," his voice was a high bass, low alto, southern drawl. "Imagine that, fall apart 'fore ya use 'em," he drifted off.

Expecting a deep baritone, I looked at his face, a clipped mustache beneath a wide, flat nose upon which wire rimmed glasses were perched. "Planned obsolesence," I commented, "soon we may not even need pens the way technology is going with computers and all."

"Nah, we'll ahlwas need pens," he smiled and turned away.

I got off at my stop and pushed my way through the pokey walkers down to the 7 train. Two of my favorite characters were on the train. "Yessss," I thought to myself. "Haven't seen these guys in a while." I think they recognized me too, but we have never acknowledged each other.

The older guy reminds me of a toothless Popeye the Sailor man with a bushy blonde mustache and spiked hair. His jaw is always in motion kind of like my grandfather when his false teeth sat in the cup on his bedside, jutting forwards up over his top lip and then backwards. I try not to stare logging more details with each time I see him. His cohort sits across from him, nearly albino, but not quite. He has some pigment, and his eyes are blue. I used to think they were a couple, the old guy and the young guy because they had the feel of a comfortable pair of shoes between them. Looking closer, I noticed that the young guy really wasn't young, just seemed that way because of his pale complexion.

"She's horny on me again," the younger of the two said.

"Yeah, she's got it in for you I think."

The younger guy pulled out an IPod that got tangled in the chain he had attached to his belt buckle. Both men had identical chains making me think that they worked in heavy labor. Their work boots had given me that impression the first time I saw them. The IPod got tangled in the chain.

I watched him struggle to free it and suggested that he unplug the wire and pull it free.

"Smart woman you are," he said with a smile.

"Not so smart. Mine gets caught up a lot too. I always look for the easiest way to accompish anything and call it efficient!" "By the way, what do you do that you wear these chains?"

"Aw, he always looses his wallet and keys," the younger guy said.

"Yeah, see, I keep them all attached," as he pulled out a metal studded wallet. "Haven't lost a wallet in three years," he announced proudly.

Again, my conversation was stopped short as I arrived at my stop.

Walking up the stairs into Grand Central I heard the loud cries of a preacher woman, "Jesus saves you".

At the top of the stairs I heard the Friday violinist playing "All around the Mulberry Bush."

It's going to be a good day!